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Last night, I was inspired to write, something just came to me and I just went with it, start to finish, stream of consciousness. It’s not the most original tale, but I’m pretty proud of it. Tell me what you think! -Chris
“The River Stone” by Christopher Lee Mannix
Once upon a time, there was a young peasant boy named Apple. He never liked that name, so he preferred people to call him “Jeff”. Jeff was just a regular boy, under normal circumstances nary worthy of mention. He wasn’t particularly smart and for a stone-cutter’s son, he wasn’t very strong. He always felt that if given the chance, he could be courageous, but being a poor boy working a thankless job for his weary father, he had accepted that the chance to prove so would never come.
One day, while stopping at a stream for water on a trading trip to a neighboring town with his father, something caught his eye. It was the most beautiful stone he’d ever laid his eye on. Perfectly smooth and round, with a faint pearly glimmer unlike any he’d ever seen. Afraid his father would take it for which to make into jewelry, he quickly hid it in his tunic and hurried back to their cart to hide it until he got home later that evening.
For the next week or so, Jeff would examine and caress his wonderful treasure. He hid it in the barn next to the horse’s stable. Late one night, when he heard his father coming up to the barn. He hurried to get his stone back into it’s safe hiding place. In his rush, he knocked over one of the shovels and down it came, grazing right across the stone scoring an ugly line across the top. Seconds that seemed like hours passed in the horror of the one precious thing he felt he may ever own, ruined. When seemingly out of nowhere a sound that rose into a hellish, screeching cacophony filled the space around him. His father burst in the door, frantic, frightened and saw Jeff kneeling, teary eyed, holding the stone.
“What the devil was that!?” roared his father, fear fading, replaced by anger. “I…I don’t know…” cried Jeff. “I cut my stone…and the sound…”. Jeff’s father raced over, fear once again alive in his every move, his eyes fixed on the beautiful rock in his son’s lap, which, in the seconds between moments had begun to glimmer more strongly than Jeff had yet seen it. The line where the shovel had scored the stone seemed to begin shining. “Noooo…no no NO!!! Where did you get that!? Get up…GET UP!!! WE HAVE TO GET IT OUT OF HERE NOW!!!”
Jeff’s father grabbed him and pulled him up with such force, his feet momentarily left the ground and he could barely get them back under him as his father dragged him, racing out of the barn and into the woods faster than Jeff, in his 10 years had ever seen him move.
Breathlessly, Jeff yelled out, “Father! What is it! You’re scaring me! What’s wrong!?” “Don’t talk, just run, we’ve got to get it away from the town, we’ve got to get rid of it as fast as poss…..”
Out of nowhere, they were stopped as their path was blocked by a large black dragon which appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.
It reared up, slowly, then faster than they could blink, pinned both men down with it’s steely arms. “You’ve taken my child. You’ve harmed my child. Return it now and I shall leave you alive, but not without retribution.” spoke the beast.
“Please!” yelled Jeff’s father, “The boy took the egg, he knew not what it was, please don’t harm us! If you must, harm me, but leave the innocent child!”
The dragon seemed to think for a minute, it lowered it’s head to Jeff’s father and said, “The ignorance of men is of no concern to me. In your ignorance, you’ve revealed the thief, and he shall pay.”
The dragon lifted it’s arm off Jeff’s father and with a crystalline claw that flashed like lightning in the moonlight at the speed of it’s strike, it sliced Jeff from cheek to chest, leaving a magnificent wound that smoked as it seem to cauterise itself….and young
His father, unable to bear seeing, hearing his son wounded so, blindly charged the beast.
The dragon reared back, but not up, like a giant black snake, ready to strike.
Seeing his father about to be struck down, Jeff knew so quickly, he felt his body reacting before his mind fully realized what it was doing, jumped up and threw the egg stone, striking and embedding it straight into the dragon’s eye.
The dragon roared as it raised onto it’s hind legs and threw it’s wings open, the sight of which stopped both father and son in their tracks, in which the knew not was awe or fear.
The beast dropped back down with a ground shaking thud and looked at both of them, a glowing furnace building in it’s mouth.
Quickly as he could, and with aim to match the greatest archers of the realm, Jeff grabbed another rock and threw it with a strength that shocked him. It struck the same spot. The egg shattered, screaming, exploding….
The dragon shuddered and dropped. It’s head seemed to have lost the top quarter.
Father and son each, breath held, slowly looked away from the beast, towards each other.
Jeff’s father let a nervous, proud smile lift his face. Jeff looked at his father, smiled back and said, “I knew it…I always knew I had courage in my heart.”
As he started to laugh, his father’s face again turned to horror. Before he could realize why, he realized he was suddenly…helplessly….engulfed in a fury of liquid flame.
Okay, I’ll start by admitting that this isn’t an easy task. I think from the reports I’ve read, there will only be 5 copies of this ultra special edition in existence.
EA reports that they will be releasing copies of the game into the upper atmosphere via weather balloon, which will include a camera and a GPS tracking device which you can follow on http://www.masseffect.com (there will most likely be updates on their twitter account as well @MassEffect.
The balloons will be launched from New York (I’ll be watching that one), San Francisco, Las Vegas, Berlin, London and Paris. The exact date of the launch and expected touchdown have yet to be revealed. They simply advertise the opportunity to get the game a week early, so I expect it will be sometime next week (Feb 23rd to March 3rd, 2012). I expect, if you’re interested, that it’s best to keep tabs on the site and twitter feed.
Personally, I think this is some pretty damned rad marketing and you can bet your sweet bippy (if you DO, let me know, my bippy was kind of sour and I threw it away), that I’ll be tracking the NY copy and have my sneakers sitting on at all times, ready to bolt out at a moment’s notice, haha.
No seriously, we want your submissions!!
This tumblr site may not be the permanent home of Nerd-Base.com, but I (Chris) would definitely like it to be the start point of a growing community for our site…er…base.
So, if you find out about any awesome news in the vein of any “nerdy” topics, if you have an event you’d like to advertise (though there’s a bit more to the advertising than just plop n’ drop), feel free to drop ‘em in the old submit box! I’ll check ‘em out and if they fit the bill, you’ll get credit for your posts. If you post a lot of great content, who knows, you may get a message from me asking you to join our team!
So, get ‘em rollin’ in, put messages in the ask box, FOLLOW US!!! SUBMIT TO OUR WILL BLOG!!
Amazing space GIF’s HAVE to be shared with everyone in the world. So now share them. It’s your duty.
Young Bazilisk here (Sylvia to the “normies”), one of the contributers at the Nerd-Base has found this awe inspiring series of gifs taken of our sweet home. (we think she took them herself when she stole the cruiser from our moon base the other night).
Obviously, real credit goes to NASA. If you as well find these images as glorious as we do, please take the moment in whatever ways you find possible to support our space program as it is currently in danger of losing a devastating amount of funding come the next fiscal year.
Pendleton Ward, creator of the wonderful CN show, “Adventure Time” answers a question we’ve all been asking. (from Newsrama)
Nrama: Jenny (Klein, who works on the WB’s “Supernatural”) also asks, “Why does Finn’s hat have little ears on the top of it?”
P.Ward: When he was a baby, Finn went out into the woods and skinned a bear.
This is a great interview. I rather love “A.T.” and think you should too! I know, from the look of it, it’s easy to dismiss as just another “kid’s show”, but honestly, it’s very much in the vein of the Muppets. There’s a lot of humor there for the kids, it’s presented in a bright and colorful manner, but here and there, you’ll catch these little snippets and jokes that shoot right over most children’s heads and catch you right in the funny bone. Give it a shot!
Ever seen “Real Genius”? Ya know, that awesome 80’s movie that was arguably the best thing Val Kilmer has ever done and cemented William Atherton in our hearts and minds as one of cinema’s greatest assholes? (hmmm….Jerry Hathaway or Templeton Peck? Who was the bigger douche? That’s an argument for another post)
Anyway, there was a character in “Real Genius” that was, although no where near the lead, ended up as the most memorable.
That character’s name? Lazlo Hollyfeld. (played by Jon Gries of future “Napoleon Dynamite” fame, who it might seem is more prolific now than the movie’s star, Val Kilmer)
Well, Ol’ Lazlo was this manic genius who lived in a sort of “batcave” in the basement of the science genius school that was the setting for the film. I won’t spoil it for you, but I’ll just say he’s REALLY smart in a way most people could only wish to be.
The fella in this video is the closest thing to a real world Lazlo Hollyfeld I’ve ever scene, he even kind of looks like him! But who is this wonderful genius? I’ll let you read his own words:
I’m Jaimie… Mantzel. I like to do a lot of things. I’m kinda like…. hmmm… who am I like…. Oh, I’m like a cross between MacGuyver (ya, I like to build stuff), and that guy in fight club (not because I fight, because I’m reclusive, resist the system, and live life my own way). Wait, no no. I’m more like a cross between Stewy from family guy, and… uhhh… well, people say “run, forest, run” to me a lot. That might just be because I run a lot, though. OK, I don’t know who I’m like. I’m a super-human space alien monster with a brain the size of a planet. Now stop pressuring me!!!!
So like… does anyone want to hire me to build a giant robot? huh huh?
Yes sir. Very cool. If I had the money, I would hire you to build TWO giant robots. One for each of us. Then we would battle in them til they were obliterated…
….then, we would build more.
Sneak Peak Greatest Toy in the Universe! (by JMEMantzel)